Captivating

I finally picked up this book, mainly, because my sister recently told me, "You have to read this book!" and placed it in my hands. I had heard a lot about this book, especially over the last 4 years. I had heard how it really impacted some of my friends, but to me, it just seemed like one of those non-fiction, pick-me-up books for when a girl feels hopeless and desperate. That just wasn't for me. I mean, just picking it up would be admitting I had hit rock bottom right? At the same time, this book had intrigued me, just not enough to open. My friends raved about it, even the girls I knew were never desperate or hopeless, and yet, I couldn't bring myself to humble myself, sit down, and discover what all my dear friends found so fascinating. Looking back, I know that the reason I could never bring myself to open it was that it wasn't the right time for me to read this book. God had special plans for this book when the authors wrote it (the anointing drips from the pages if you ask me), but he had extra special plans for this book in my life.

Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge is a pretty amazing book. To be honest, at first I was skeptical of the book. I mean, let's be real, the tagline is "Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul." (If you're a man reading, I would be delighted if you kept reading, but if you are uncertain, go ahead and jump to the * at the bottom) Doesn't that sound like quite a large feat to accomplish in only 218 pages? Speaking from a woman's perspective, there is usually a lot of complicated stuff going on just under the surface, let alone within a woman's soul, so I was very intrigued by the focus of this book and how this topic would be approached. At first, I was very wary because they were presenting so many prefaces as to why they decided to write the book in the first place. I was looking for substance, not that. However, I was amazed to find myself committed to completing this book by the 8th page. By this point, they had already validated the need for their book, explained why I should read it (I guess all the prefacing worked), and combined their use of creative storytelling, dialogue, and rhetorical questions to share the main point of their book: "Every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty."

This book is not written to be a guide for single women trying to find a man or anything of that shallow hogwash. On the contrary, this book addresses EVERY woman (girly-girl, tom-boy, professional career woman, stay-at-home mom, cowgirl boots, or high heels), shows her what she may not even be able to admit about herself at times regarding her built-in God-given desires, shows her how, and even why, these longings sometimes get lost deep inside, and then reveals the ultimate solution to becoming the woman she was created to be. It's a beautiful explanation of a beautiful process centered around the beauty of a woman. (Read the book to discover the power and importance of beauty)

I am a personal testimony of how this book, although written for every woman, is also written to address YOU. Right where you sit, with all your pain and wounds in your heart, to help you answer the one question you've been asking since you were small.

-Ok, now is the part of the review where, before I read the book, I would have checked out and said, "Yep. I knew it. This book is not for me. I don't live a victim life, I live a victorious life!" While that is true, I would have missed out on so much. Keep reading!-

Reading this book, I realized how blessed I am. Mainly, I'm blessed because I was raised in a home where my captivating femininity was allowed to blossom, my beauty was validated by my parents, and I was supported in the pursuits of my dreams and adventures. In this setting, I was spared many of the painful heart wounds other women suffer at the hands of their families and friends. If you know me, you know that I don't play the victim, in fact I live a very joy-filled life, acknowledging the blessings of God in my life, and pursuing my goals. However, I am very sensitive especially to the people around me. I love to listen to people tell their stories, and I love to share in one-on-one deep conversations and connections with the people in my life. I care, sometimes too deeply. If I were to be honest for a second, I would say, I have wounds just like everyone else. My wounds in life were caused by the people I love the most, many times without their knowledge, many times due to how deeply I feel. My wounds are not as deep as a woman whose father was abusive. I was blessed with an amazing father who loves me as unconditionally as humanly possible. My wounds are not as large as the woman whose mother used to beat her. My mother is one of the sweetest women I know. However, my wounds are just as real, just as painful. I'm not going to bare my soul in this forum and expose my wounds to everyone, but suffice it to say, this book revealed to me that I had real wounds that I had been ignoring, hoping they would go away, hoping that praying them away would work.

The beautiful thing about this book is that, while it reveals the pain and wounds you have experienced, it doesn't leave you there to repent of nursing your wounds, but rather passes you the healing balm, Christ. Beginning with the first step of asking Christ to heal, these authors gently walk the reader through the healing process using their own stories and pain, culminating in the revelation that the reason a woman is created with her three longings in her heart is because Christ desires to fill them all! On a personal note, I didn't expect to find any level of healing for my raw heart in this book, but I did. God met me in these pages and brought healing to me personally and very specifically. And beyond healing, the authors provide an empowering perspective on femininity and what it means and looks like to be the woman you were created to be. They reveal the core of how to become captivating. Isn't that what every woman wants, to be captivating? Isn't that what every man desires, a captivating woman? This book leaves you dreaming of true romance, adventure, and beauty and makes those things feel attainable.

This book wasn't all female centered though (It had a male author too!). Just as the authors unveiled the truth that women have three longings, they also share a man's main three desires: a battle to fight, longing for adventure, a beauty to rescue (and fight for) and how each of the longings complement each other. This was a theme all throughout the book. For me the coolest part was how God is represented in each and all of the longings represented and how each uniquely reveals the character of God. …. Ok, if I keep typing I'll end up providing a book report rather than a review….. Go read the book! It only took me a day to absorb its truth (mainly because I was so hungry for the information provided), and, honestly, I plan to read it again and again.

*Another great thing about this book is that it has a brother, Wild at Heart, which apparently is also very good. It is quoted quite a few times throughout the book, and just in those excerpts I was impressed. Wild at Heart was written for men in the same way Captivating was written for women. I haven't read that book specifically (yet), but based on the bit I was exposed to, how I would definitely recommend Captivating, and how highly I've heard other people/men talk about the book, I would recommend it to men. Honestly, Captivating could be a good read for men in some respects (just as I hear Wild at Heart is for woman). However, my recommendation is that whatever gender you fall under… read the book that was written for you first. It will put you in the right mindset to read the other one.